unrelenting gratitude

Unfortunately, going into my third week, I really do not have much to talk about. I have spent countless hours staring blankly at my laptop screen or reading or sleeping or baking or cray-paing. I enjoy the learning and the work involved with baking bread. I guess I should have realized that I would be baking bread for retail though which tends to take the fun out of it for me. Farmer's Markets, bartering... those sort of things don't bother me so much. "what are you, some kind of communist?!" Phil would say in a funny raspy voice. And in my head I'm saying "well, actually... ." The locals are friendly but quiet and seemingly uninterested in taking advantage of all the amazing outdoorsy things to do around here which is one of the main things that compelled me to come here. Or perhaps they just forget to invite me along. I've been going on short bike rides alone but I am afraid of biking, hiking or swimming by myself (bears, moose, drowning, cars... can you blame me?) I know for sure that my momma wouldn't approve. Plus I simply don't enjoy being by myself. So for the most part, it has been a lonely ride so far.
One thing I certainly cannot complain about is the FOOD. Practically every day there is some kind of soup made- carrot ginger, mushroom barley, lentil, spicy black bean; lemon-ginger scones and all kinds of cookies. and obviously BREAD. I can feel myself becoming a bread snob. I will hardly be able to meet my own standards because a wood-burning brick oven is essential to making such fine artisan breads. I am also becoming a coffee snob- organic, fair trade, freshly roasted in the wood burning stove which means it retains a lot more of those handy antioxidants. I only allow myself to have caffeine on my days off or else it is really difficult to sleep around the chaotic bread baking schedule.
On Thursday, I will go to Manhattan to visit my dear old sister, Em and a good friend from school is meeting me. I already feel like it is going to be hard to come back here after four days in the big city in the company of familiar people.
I wish I could boast more about my experience here but being lonely truly is one of the worse feelings in the world. But as always I extend my unrelenting gratitude to god(s)/nature/super natural energy/fate or whatever you want to call it for this abundant fortunate life. I hope everyone is doing well and that each one of you is surrounded by people you love. For me at least, that is one of the true essences of life. Miss you all. Take care. and happy father's day of course.